For you.

                                                                 Untuk kamu :')

Cahayaku.

Pabila hidupku gelap dan kusam, kau hadir bagai cahaya lilin yang menerangi semula kegelapanku.

Pabila hidupku dilanda pelbagai cabaran dan ujian, hanya dengan melihat kehadiran kau telah mengembalikan semangat aku.

Pabila diriku sudah tidak mampu lagi untuk  memberikan senyuman, kau hadir dan mengukir senyumanku kembali.

Pabila aku sudah tidak berdaya untuk berdiri, kau ibaratkan tongkat yang menolong aku untuk kembali berdiri dan berjalan.

Pabila aku berasa sedih, kau pasti cuba untuk berbuat apa sahaja untuk melihat senyumanku semula.

Pabila aku berasa seperti hendak berputus asa, kau kembalikan semangat aku.

Kau lah penyeri hidupku.

Sejak hadirnya kau dalam hidup aku, aku sentiasa tersenyum dan tertawa. Walaupun apabila kau tiada bersama denganku, aku masih mampu tersenyum kerana aku dapat merasa kehadiran kau. Kau telah memberikan aku semangat untuk meneruskan hidup.  

Aku percaya, Allah telah menurunkan kau dalam hidupku pasti ada sebabnya. Allah telah mengisi kekosongan jiwa aku dengan kehadiran kau.

Setiap saat dan detik bersama dengan kau, akan aku jadikan ia kenangan yang paling terindah dalam hidupku. Setiap kata kata yang kau beri, akan aku jadikan ia pedoman dan peringatan dalam hidupku. Setiap senyuman yang terukir pada wajah kau, akan ku jadikan ianya penyeri hidupku.

Setiap kali aku menatap wajah kau, aku dapat merasakan ketenangan dan kedamaian. Setiap kali kau merenung tajam mata aku, aku dapat melihat erti kasih sayang. Setiap kali aku bersama dengan kau, aku seperti dalam duniaku sendiri. Dan setiap kali kau melemparkan senyuman pada aku, aku dapat merasakan kebahagiaan.

Kasih dan sayang aku terhadap kau hanya lah ibarat sang puteri yang bercinta dengan sang putera idamannya di dalam dunia fantasi. Aku hanya mampu berangan sampai ke awangan, tetapi kau tetap tidak akan mengerti betapa bermaknanya kehadiran kau dalam hidupku. Aku pasti, jika jodoh itu milik kita, kita tetap akan bersama satu hari nanti. Insyallah :’)

TEMPEK!

Berdasarkan tajuk blog saya di atas, harini ialah hari menempek Muhd Rohaizad walaupun birthday dia semalam kan. So yeah it supposed to be a surprise, but then tak jadi. Amal, me, Aut, Et, Idlan, Mustaffa, Iman, Alif and Ro breakfast kat Darus, then lepak2 and celebrate birthday Ro, tiup2 lilin and nyanyi lagu 'Happy Birthday' *tak malu nyanyi kuat2 depan orang ramai and ane2 kat situ :p 

Then tiba tiba semua orang macam kelam kabut pegi bayar bil, aku duduk situ blur nak MAM. Ade yang kata nak balik, ade kate nak 'melabur' kat rumah kejap and macam macam ragam budak2 ni. I was so curious with their behavior that time, then when i was still sitting there with my blur face, Aut suruh ikut dia. Okay dah ikut pegi kaunter semua, Aut explain. Terus muka tak blur dahh, ahahha! Mane la aku tau nak menempek dia secara sembunyi2 kan. Amal told me that he knew about the 'tempek tempek' thingy, lepas tu tiba tiba pulak dia orang nk buat senyap2. So whaat do you expect kan, mesti lah blur :D

Then separuh dah pegi padang 17, separuh lagi naik kereta dengan Mus. So tunggu je lah kat padang tuh, bila dah sampai Amal bawak Ro jalan2. *ceh kononya serious talk la tuh 

Sementara nk tunggu perfect time untuk tempek Ro, kita orang sembunyi2 dekat belakang tempat recycle tuh. Dengan secara tiba tibanya AKU PULAK YG KENE TEMPEK DULU -__-

Semua MUS punya pasal! Lepas tu semua ikut baling tepung dekat aku yang tak bersalah ni :/ . Lepas Ro dah otw jalan pegi basketball court, ramai2 lari dekat dia and Ro pun lari! Takleh bla betul jantan tuh, hahaha! But dapat jugak tempek dia harini, so i hope you had fun ye Ro :) I'm gonna upload some of the pictures , malas nak upload banyak2. So yeahh, enjoy the photos! 

;(

  I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. 

 I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

 I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

91011,

Subhanallah :') This is how the moon looks like tonight. Its beautiful! When i was chatting, suddenly i saw my twitter is full with "wow the moon tonight is beautiful" , "go out and see the moon!" , and i was soo lazy to go downstairs and take a look at the moon that people were saying. Dah kalau ramai sangat tweet and tulis kat Facebook, mane boleh kalau aku sorang je yang tak tengok kan. So berani kan la diri turun and keluar. Turun2 je, i saw my mum was reading newspaper. Bila dah bukak pintu semua, mak mesti pelik entah buang tebiat anak dia ni nak keluar malam2 buta. Then bila dah tengok, terus excited! I called my mum to let her look at the beautiful moon. We both were excited and mum start to call her siblings and tell them about this. And she even called Ida my second sister which is in Gombak to take a picture of it. Cause our DSLR is with her. Sampai orang yang suruh tido pun dia kejutkan suruh pegi tengok. Hihihi excited kan? :)
So yeah, i'm not gonna forget today's date. Not only because i got hurt by his respond today, but today's date mean so much to me because i still got the chance to see the moon. Alhamdulillah :')

I never told you,

After 7 months i kept this secret, today finally i told him. Yeah and it was errr i dont know what to say. But it was painful for me. Macam biasa lah aku je yang kene tahan sakit kan. Dari dulu macam tu sebenarnye. His respond was not so good :/

Entah la, but i never thought that he would say that. I really thought there's something between us. I dont know, maybe i was the only one who felt like that. But not him. Well, i was quite dissapointed but its okay. I can go through this. Because i know i've been through a hell lot more painful than this. But for me, this is a new situation. I've never been in this kind of situation before. You know, when you like a boy but he doesnt know about it, then you wait till the perfect time to tell him, and when you tell him, he said that he likes you as a friend only. Yeah, that kind of situation. It's normal in teenagers life i think? So yeahh, how bitter it taste, i have to learn to swallow it anyhow.

 I feel like telling him this - "Why dont we give it a try" . Should i say that? I really dont know what to do now :'(


BUT I HAVE TO BE STRONGGGGGGGGGG! YOU CAN DO IT ELLA, YOU CAN. Just have faith :')

You and I collide

I dont know what to say anymore, but today was like a day that i made a shocking decision. I decided to give up. After 7 months, today i feel like giving up. I'm getting tired of this feelings. This one way feelings. Why should i hold on if there's nothing for me to hold on anymore? I was the only one who tried to get close to you. I was the only one who always approach you first. I was the only one who always miss you whenever you're not around. It has always been me. ONLY ME! 

Today, is the first tears that flowed because of you. I dont know, but it feel so painful. It hurts me suddenly. I never thought that you could make me cry. I'm not gonna wait for the perfect time already, no never. Because i know, the more i wait, the more i'll hurt myself. That's it. Im not gonna wait anymore. Ape nak jadi, jadilah okay.

How to love,

That love, is for you.

Hi blog, i missed you! Hahhah its been awhile since i last updated my blog. 

Okay my blog were abandoned quite a long time, and now im gonna start writing what i feel to write. Well as you all know, im one of the spm candidates this year. Yeah THIS YEAR. Lagi sebulan je okay nak SPM :(

I dont think that i studied hard this year, i dont know lah. But i dont feel like i struggled this year. But bila time PMR dulu, i really can feel the stress fullness okay. But not this year. Stress pasal benda lain ade lah.

Okay im gonna start writing about this thing that made me happy and sad at the same time. It's about a guy. I've been falling for this guy since March this year. We're in the same school though. Well, its simple. I like him, but he doesn't know about it. And i dont know when is the right time to tell him. I cant find a reason to describe why did i like him. Is this love? But i tried to give some hint, through Facebook status, songs that i put on my wall, through text, and through chat but he still didnt get it. I tried asking my friend's opinion and advice, and they were all the same. Well, i think most of them asked me to be honest to him and tell him that i like him. Well, it took me quite some time to think about it. I dont think you will read my blog, so here is my confession to you :)

For you boy ,

   Is it so hard for you to know that i do really like you, Mr. R? I really tried my best to let you know, but i'm so afraid. Every time that confident side of me came, i still dont have that enough courage to tell you. I dont easily fall for a guy, but when i did, i fell really hard. 

Every little thing that you did to me, it means a lot to me. It could made my day. Every conversation that we made, somehow when i read it back, it made me smile. Even though you treated me not like how i want it to be, i dont mind. I dont mind when you replied 'k', 'haha', ':)', 'dah' , 'belum' . I dont mind when you ignored my texts. I dont mind when you dont approach me first. I dont mind when you dont even say hi to me at school. I dont mind when you made me feel like a hopeless and pathetic person. I dont mind when you replied a short text to me. I just dont mind, get it? And its because of you. Just you. Sometimes you gave me hope and hints too, but then on the next day you seems so different. You made me confused too boy :/ . When i got dumped and i thought like there's no reason fr me to smile again, you proved me wrong. By just knowing you, i feel so special. Maybe you dont realize it, but i do. Every time i see your pictures, i hear your name, i saw you was walking in front of me at school, get a text and a reply from you, it actually made me smile :) 

Well, isn't it obvious that im really falling for you? I dont understand why you still dont get it? But it's okay, i cant force you to do anything right. I wanted to say to you that i care for you, i like you, and i want you. I want to know you more. I want to discover this feelings. This feelings towards you. And please, can you notice all the hints that i gave to you. Please? If not now, then when right.

Asia Tour

Its been a long time since i last update my blog. Well, i've been busy with my schools and tuitions. And especially with all the dramas that happened in my life. Senior years is a drama year i think?

So, i just wanted to write about what had happened to me that i still can remember. Firstly, i went to karaoke with my girls last friday. That was my first time ever, went to a karaoke room! And yeah, i had lots of fun that time, released all my tension by singing a sad song, clubbing song, and shuffle song! Heee! :)
Then secondly, for 3 times in a row i watched Harry Potter with my sister since she won the tickets to watch Harry Potter 1 till Harry Potter 6 the first part. And thirdly, i went to Liverpool's training session last thursday! What a lucky girl i am right? I was sleeping that time, then i got a call from Idlan saying that Iman has another one pass to Liverpool's training. So i was like so blur that time and i realized that Liverpool was here in Malaysia! Hahaha then i said okay without telling my parents first. Then when i was in the car, i texted my dad. Was so excited that time even though i didnt support that team, cause im a red devils fan! But i just want to watch them live. Went there with Iman, Idlan, Iman's brother and Iman's sister's friend. I had so much fun that time. But i felt guilty with the person who brought us there, he paid all the tolls . I should've brought my Touch N Go that time, so he wont have to pay anything. Dah la menumpang kita orang ni, tapi tk keluarkan duit pun.

So that's it. Itu je yang bole ingat. Hahha and now i'm planning to go to Chelsea's game next week, on Tuesday their training, and on Wednesday their game. Im gonna get my free ticket and passes hopefully. By collecting the Star Newspaper from 14th July till 17th July, then have to redeem on monday. First come, first serve. Tengah nak carik lagi sape boleh tolong pegi redeemkan on monday morning nanti. Insyallah dapat :)

Fragile?

Tau ape yang fragile ? My heart. Yes, my heart.

Kedah kedah kedah!

Ahhh  i am sooo excited! I'm going to Kedah for 2 days. Know why am i so excitedd? Cause i never been to that place, and this is my first time! I can actually learn their accent ;) Da lame rase nk dengar orang Kedah cakap2, teheee! And yeah, bole jumpa banyak 'Kembang' kat sane. * sape yang tengok cerita Cun je yang faham :)

Well, June is treating me well i think. Its gonna be a good June, Insyallah. And this morning i had a very touching moment. Webcam-ed with him for like 2 hours, and on the phone with him too. It's been a while since we talked like that. Cracked jokes together, laughing together, made fun of each other and the last thing is stare in each other's eyes. Well walaupun webcam je pun kan :')

I was so happy that time. I've been missing him and at last i got the chance to see his face again. I am moving on, but like i said in my last entry before this, there is still a tiny pieces of my past and him in me. Tiny? Hmmm i think soo. I am really tired of crying, being sad, feeling lonely and all. And i promised to myself that i am not gonna let anyone make me feel that way again. 

Okay enough with that, imma talk about Lee Min Ho now. Oh mai god, i think i am falling in love with him! I actually sacrificed my sleep and my precious time to study, watching Boys Over Flower and Personal Taste. Sanggup okay tak tido and tido lambat just to watch himmm? Hihihi sampai nak pegi Kedah ni pun sanggup save gambar2 dia and transfer dlm phone takut rindu ;) . I like his acting in both of the stories. Dua dua cerita dia berlakon jadi lelaki yang sangat romantic and sweet and gentleman! Ahh mane tak cair tengok kan? I would love to have a guy like him as my soulmate. Insyallah kan? 

Okay imma blog when i have a time to do so. Kedah, here i comeeee! :)

New month, new day!

Happy June people! May this month give us happiness and joyfulness :) 

Wipe away my tears,

This past few days, i always felt like i was alone. Alone in my own world.

I felt like there was no one with me, and that was just too hurtful.

I often think of the people who i miss.

I think of all the bad memories.

I think of how much tears that i've wasted.

I think of the people who had broke my heart.

I think of all the hard times that i've been through.

Well i can say that this holidays is such a bad holidays for me.

Cause it made me thinks of all the pains.

I should be moving on by now right?

Yeah, i've moved on with my life. But there's just a tiny pieces of my past left inside of me.

And i really dont know how to get rid of it.

I prayed to God everyday to give me strength for me to continue my journey.

I want to be strong, i have to be strong, and i will be strong.

I cant let other people's selfishness control me.

I am not gonna let the past haunts me anymore. 

I realized that people should start to be happy and stop being sad.

You know why? Because this life aint a place for us to keep being sad and cry.

We should enjoy and appreciate this life. But dont ever cross the limits.

"Hidup ni tak bermakna kalau kita buat orang yang kita sayang sedih"

I really like this quotes. It means something to me :')

And i really hope to all the heartbreakers out there, please come to your senses. Sedarkan diri tu please.

Stop hurting people, mentally and physically.

Quote tu tak semestinya untuk boyf/girlf je, it can be for your parents, your siblings, your cousins, your friends. 

And yes, just keep smiling and held your head up high.

Dont ever give up on something that you like.

Follow your heart, and your brain too!

P/S: Sorry if message dalam ni bercampur campur, cause i really dont know how to organize my words. What i felt and what i thought, i just write. So yeah :')

Ignorance,

I dont know what to write, so im just gonna upload some random pictures of me with the people that i miss :)

My lovely cousin, Aliff and Ada.

Amalina and Aisyah, rindu hangout same2!

I miss this two crackhead too, Sam and Dan. I just miss our old times.

I miss you both too, Hazirah and Aina!

Faci2 kat UIA! Saya rindu kamu semua :')

Mereka2 di JB, sangat rindu okay :')

3 budak yang selalu buat saya gelak, Aliff, Apek and Farish. Imissyou!

Cousin 2 orang ni, Wanie dan Amer. Rindu jugak :)

Those cheerful kids that i miss in Singapore <3

My favorite cousin too, Kak Fara! Rindu, bila nk jumpa and story2?

There is some reason i putted this photo. I miss you so damn much :')

Haaa ini budak Kelantan! Hihi i miss you so much Ainaa :D

This cuties. Aqish, Alia and Raudhah :)

This is not right.

You know what? I dont give a damn about you lah. Why are you being so sensitive like goddamn sensitive?! Asal kau nak terasa lebih weh? I just dont get it. Enough is enough. And stop accusing me with that stupid statement that you always said before this. There's always a limit okay, remember that please. If you're matured enough, please use your brain to think about the right thing. Dont simply accused people! Grow up, would you? -___-

Lazy day ,

Ahhh i am so lazy to revise literature and tasawwur. I just dont know why. And im having a flu and cough right now. Lagi la macam takde mood nak study kan? Haih lawan setan lawan setan *bak kata Pn Azimah :)
Pagi ni terbangun sebab susah nak bernafas, then dapat call from my mum suruh bangun. Padahal memang dah terbangun mase tuh. Then immediately i texted Korie cause i didnt reply his text that he sent when i was sleeping.  But the best thing is, my mum made my favorite food! Serawa durian. You know what is that? Look down here, 

This is how it looks. Best served with bread! 

Besides kek batik, this is my second favorite malay dish. Happy je muka dapat makan serawa sebab dah lame mengidam then tiba2 mak sendiri yang buatkan, mesti lah happy! Mak marah marah pun, tapi mesti buat jugak makanan favorite anak anak dia :) I love you mak <3

Then my mum ajak pegi cari putu bambu cause she want it. Mak pun dah mengidam, hahaha! So we will be going out to KL just to buy the famous putu bambu there. Then we might go to Subang Parade or Pyramid cause i want to buy some presents for my teachers. Memandang celebration hari guru jumaat ni kan, takkan nk tangan kosong je. Tak sedap hati pulak nanti. So yeah, till here! I'm gonna update when i got back :)

Disco Skating!

This is the place, Disco Skating at Subang Avenue. Im not sure which floor, you guys can google it :)

I had so much fun there, seriously. I went there with my sister, and her friend Syed Amir. We arrived there around 3++ . I met Amirul Afif and his girlfriend, and some of his friends maybe. I think i know one of them, Ami Syafiq if im not mistaken? Then i chose rollerblade! Hikhik berani kan? First timer terus pilih yang tuh.

Yes this one, but i wore size 7 :)

But i really think that rollerblade is easy than the rollerskate. For me la, i dont know for you guys. And the fun part is, i still can skate! Wohooo! I remembered the last time i skate when i was in standard 2 or 3. Saya tak jatuh langsung okay tadi, hebat tak? Haha nampaknya cerebellum saya masih bagus sebab boleh balance kan badan. Oh and i had to hold my sister along the track first2. Then when she knew how to skate, she asked me to let her go and she wanted to skate by herself. And i had to carry the camera when i was skating -__-

I saw some of the couple there, awww so sweet! Kadang kadang jealous jugak lah kan. Tengok skate same2, jatuh same2. Hehe nak macam tu jugaaak! HAHA! Then i saw some of the people there make a 'tu tu train' . Ahaha it was fun! We've tried that too, but fail. Tak serentak pun :p

"Tu Tu Tain"

And i'm planning to go there again this Friday with my lovely classmates and my friend, Hanin Nur Umairah! It's gonna be so much fun ! And i am so excited ! But sadly, i have another 3 more paper to go. Then on this Friday, my school will be having celebration for Teacher's Day. Then habis sekolah pegi disco skating pulak, yeayyy! Then cuti sekolah! Weeee but i really have to study on this holiday, my spm is just around the corner. Urhhh i can feel the pressure already. Okay enough, so im gonna upload SOME of the photos here *malas nak upload banyak2. Enjoy people! <3